Sales Letters Two Ways

write-on-sales-lettersIf the thought of sales letters makes you cringe, it’s time to give these selling techniques another look.

Sales letters, like salesmen, come in several varieties. Traditional sales letters can be just as smarmy as a traveling salesman, and these letters are headed straight for the circular file.

To analyze the different approaches of sales letters, I have created two diametrically opposed samples. The first is my soft-sell letter and the second is an aggressive,  over-the-top, head-spinning diatribe that many companies shockingly use. In most cases, somewhere in the middle is the best approach for reaching consumers or B2B customers.

When writing a sales letter for a traditional direct mail campaign or an informal letter for an email blast, the first rule is to explain what’s in it for the reader. Everything else fits in around this cardinal commandment. Instead of acting like a crazed salesmen when drafting a sales letter, I believe it’s important to put yourself in the customer’s or the reader’s shoes. Read on to see how different sales letters can be.

 Save On HVAC Services or Your Tune-Up Is Free!

June [xx], 2012

Dear Property Managers and Building Owners,

At [company name,] we are the state’s most-trusted low-price leader in commercial HVAC services. If your current HVAC provider doesn’t arrive for four to five days or charges rates that are less than competitive, we can help. We never overcharge or bid against current HVAC maintenance contractors, and we offer same-day service guaranteed.

In fact, our competitors charge twice as much as we do. We save customers money in three ways. We offer competitively priced pre-season tune-ups that reduce maintenance expenses, lower energy bills and keep your heating system running at peak levels for years to come.

Our extensive pre-season tune-ups include services that go above and beyond to ensure that your building’s system is operating efficiently. Our seasonal tune-ups for heating systems in shopping malls, high-rises and industrial buildings include these services:

1. Checking all fuel connections and components to ensure complete combustion, proper pressure and the integrity of all burners.

2. Testing and tightening all electrical connections to maintain the correct current and voltage.

3. Lubricating all moving parts and motor components to reduce the friction that increases power consumption.

4. Inspecting system controls to ensure all heating equipment and components are operating safely.

5. Cleaning heating coils and heat exchangers to remove particles that inhibit full efficiency.

Seasonal tune-ups are essential for protecting the heating equipment in your building and ensuring that your building’s tenants are warm and comfortable this winter. As a bonus, we will refund the cost of your pre-season tune-up if your building’s energy bills aren’t reduced. The cost of heating commercial buildings is constantly rising, so there’s no better time to schedule your pre-season tune-up. You’ll get a better rate on your preventative maintenance contract. We guarantee it.

Call us today to see why more commercial building owners, leasing agents and property managers trust us to maintain complex heating and cooling systems and chillers used in shopping malls, high-rises and industrial buildings.


[Company Owner]

Get the Best-Ever Air Conditioning Tune-Up. Guaranteed or It’s FREE

Take Advantage of This Amazing Offer and You Could Get a Check for Triple the Cost of Your Tune-Up!

You probably know that utility providers, equipment manufacturers and efficiency auditors recommend regular seasonal tune-ups for all heating and cooling equipment. Research from a major university study confirms that the savings produced by an annual air conditioning tune-up can more than pay for the cost of the service itself. Even though the benefits of seasonal tune-ups are commonly known, thousands of homeowners are not taking advantage of the savings because they neglect or simply forget to schedule a tune-up. I am confident that the offer included in this letter is so amazing that you’ll feel like you’re throwing away money if you don’t schedule your money-saving service call. Here’s why.

1. Our tune-ups are far better than the competition, and our prices are unbeatable. We are a family-owned company, and we take tremendous pride in our reputation and commitment to customer service. Each tune-up we complete includes bonus services and additional procedures that those other guys don’t offer.

2. We clean your coils and fans with a specially formulated detergent to remove dirt, dust and greasy buildup. Most companies just rinse these parts with water. We use detergent and aircraft-quality Teflon spray to strip grease and grime and leave a slick coating that improves thermo-conductive efficiency and aerodynamic power.

3. Once these parts are clean, the non-stick Teflon coating reduces the amount of dirt that accumulates on the surface so your system stays cleaner longer and operates more efficiently.

4. We spend time cleaning internal components, air handlers and furnace blowers. This maintains maximum air flow and superior efficiency.

It takes more time and it costs more to do a tune-up right, but even so we only charge $149. For a limited time, we are offering a complete tune-up for only $85. This is a discount of more than $60!

Plus, because of the outstanding quality of our tune-ups, we are confident that you’ll see profits on your investment. Here’s how it works:

If your tune-up doesn’t reduce your electric bill, we will refund the entire cost of your tune-up. All you need to do is compare your current electric bill with last year’s usage.

If your electric bills aren’t lower, we will refund you $85. Plus, if your HVAC system breaks down, you’ll receive another $85 credit. That’s a refund of $170, which will be credited toward any repairs. If the cost of repairs is less than $170, you’ll get a check for the difference.

On top of that, if you decide that you want to replace your HVAC system within the next year, we’ll triple the amount of your tune-up and put it toward the cost of a replacement unit. That’s a discount of $255 off your new system.

As you can see, there’s no way to go wrong! That’s why we confidently say that this is the BEST tune-up offer ever.

The only remaining question is how can we make an offer that is this great? Here’s the answer. Because of all the additional time and services that come with each tune up, we’re sure that once you experience our commitment to quality and customer service we’ll be the only company you’ll ever use.

If you aren’t satisfied, we wouldn’t expect you to use our services again. This can certainly happen when companies advertise ridiculously low prices, use bait-and-switch techniques or recommend unnecessary repairs. Companies like that are unethical and immoral. That’s not the way we do business. We offer excellent service at low prices.

We promise to go above and beyond the norm. We stand behind our work, and we offer a variety of bonus services without any extra charges. That’s why you have our 1-2-3 guarantee.

1. We guarantee you’ll enjoy lower electric bills or we’ll refund your $85.

2. If repairs are necessary, we’ll give you a $170 discount.

3. If your system needs to be replaced, we’ll give you a $255 credit plus any coupons, discounts or tax rebates that are available from the manufacturer, local utility companies or the government.

This is an exclusive, limited-time offer, so please understand that we may discontinue it at any time. To avoid losing out, we urge you to schedule a pre-season tune-up at your earliest convenience.

Thank You,




If your heating bills aren’t reduced, your tune-up is absolutely free! Give us a call at 555-4444. You’ll be glad you did.

* This Offer Ends on August [xx,] 2012, so Don’t Delay!

Good or bad, feel free to share your sales latter experiences here.


  1. I am not sure where you are getting your information, but good topic.
    I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more.
    Thanks for fantastic info I was looking for
    this information for my mission.

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